- Conflict management is widely modelled on the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, developed in 1974 by Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann
- It defines five conflict-handling modes: competing, collaborating, compromising, avoiding, and accommodating
- These modes sit on two dimensions, assertiveness and cooperativeness
- No single mode is best; the right approach depends on the situation, as Harvard's Program on Negotiation also emphasises.
What Is Conflict?
Conflict is the consequence of people having varying needs, opinions, and expectations. It arises naturally in any human relationship whenever interests or goals clash. Conflict is not inherently negative; when recognised early and managed properly, it can drive significant growth, stronger relationships, and better decisions within teams and organisations.
The most important conflicts are the ones that, when managed well, lead to positive results in teams. These are the situations in which people feel personally invested in their positions or are bringing something of themselves as human beings into the interaction.
Clinical Psychology: courses, scope and careersRead →What Is Conflict Management?
Conflict management is the art of recognising and handling conflicts sensibly, fairly, and tactfully. It means finding workable solutions to problems by engaging in honest communication and negotiation through proven conflict management strategies. The aim is not to eliminate conflict entirely but to channel it toward constructive, mutually acceptable outcomes.
Conflict management is relevant not only in the realm of inter or intrastate conflicts; the approach is also useful in managing local and other types of conflicts, particularly those of a domestic nature, in both developed and developing countries.
Psychology courses and specialisationsRead →What Are the Methods of Resolving Conflicts?
The main methods of resolving conflicts are active listening, understanding each side's underlying interests, choosing the right approach for the situation, and strategic positioning. Effective resolution depends on refraining from judgement, communicating openly, and selecting from the five conflict modes: avoiding, competing, compromising, accommodating, and collaborating.
The following methods can be adopted to resolve conflicts:
Active Listening
People who do not agree with you won't change their minds unless they feel they have been heard. Listening makes you learn things too, which you cannot do unless you refrain from being judgemental (the automatic response for most of us).
There are skills to learn:
Understanding Your Position and That of the Other Person
Think about what you want to achieve. Think about the obstacles and opportunities. In the jargon, look for the interests behind the positions.
Figuring Out the Right Approach to the Situation
There are many theoretical models of conflict. The most popular one, the Thomas-Kilmann model, has five parts:
- Avoiding
- Competing
- Compromising
- Accommodating
- Collaborating
Your first step is to learn what the other person is trying to do and to decide which approach makes the most sense strategically for you to best achieve your interests, if you can manage the situation to make that approach work.
Strategic Positioning
Read the situation to see if there are things you can do to make one approach more likely to work than another. If you can make it likely that the other person will compromise, for instance, that is a good result if it is the approach that works for you.
If you can make it likely that the other person will compromise without feeling the pain of not getting everything on their list of wants, then you have established or maintained a relationship too, which will help you with the next negotiation. If you control the process, you control a lot of the outcome.
Always Think About the Next Steps
During the conflict, anticipate what the other person will do. If there will be a next negotiation, do not burn your bridges. It takes practice and a little natural paranoia. The thing that separates conflict resolution from conflict management is that the latter is concerned with what happens after the discussion ends.
Career counselling: how to choose the right pathRead →How Do You Resolve Conflict Permanently?
To resolve a conflict permanently, the cause of the conflict must be addressed and not just the symptoms of it. The focus should be on building an atmosphere designed to reduce destructive conflict and deal with routine frictions and minor differences before they become unmanageable.
The key to resolving conflict with a positive outcome includes looking for a win-win situation, cutting losses when necessary, formulating proactive conflict management strategies, using effective negotiation and communication, and appreciating cultural differences among project stakeholders.